The 'jockey'.

One thing that makes us feel totally at home in Jakarta is the traffic. Snail paced – reaching your destination can take anything between half an hour to two hours. Various permutations and combinations of managing traffic flow have been tried out but this monster seems to be growing by gigantic proportions ready to swallow the very pace of life itself.

During peak hours, only vehicles with three or more passengers are permitted on the Jl Jenderal Sudirman Road, which is a major arterial road of Jakarta, Alternately a long circuitous route would have to be taken. “What a brilliant idea to reduce the number of vehicles on the road,” we thought, until one fine day, Pratap had to rush to a meeting in the same area…

“Mistah, need jockey,” the driver declared.

“Sorry??” said Pratap not quite following the request.

“Go fast – need jockey,” repeated the driver almost giving Pratap an ultimatum.

“Oh Okay,” said Pratap not quite knowing what to expect next.

The car came to a screeching halt and the driver threw open the door to let in a young lad not more than twelve years old. The boy, who was now in the front seat beside the driver had about him an air of effortless style – and looked totally at ease as he strapped himself in. At the end of the ride, 3000 rupiah (equivalent of Rs.15/-) was handed to the young ‘jockey’ for services rendered! The system had been beaten!

“Good lord!” I exclaimed when Pratap narrated the incident on his return. I always thought those little boys waving their index finger vigorously at you were either asking for a lift or being rather vulgar!. But they were ‘jockeys’! “Why ‘jockey’?” I wondered, as besides the small and frail appearance there seemed nothing else in common. Unless like the other jockey - he was taking us for a 'ride'! Till curiosity got the better of me and I fished out the dictionary. Jockey also means “to manipulate in a skilful manner.” Mmmmmmmmm! How befitting!

As for us… instead of having the rug pulled from under our feet, we’ve learnt to dance on a shifting carpet. We have our own resident jockey – our maid Tantrum!

The 'spa-aah' experience

A spa is aimed at pampering and indulging – and that’s exactly what the lush pictures in the brochure suggested! What better way to de-stress, we thought, as we headed for an exotic Indonesian locale. Destination spas promise you a relaxing time, an opportunity to totally immerse in the spa experience, cut off from the rest of the world. It’s not just about lying on a bed, surrounded by flowers while a therapist soothes the skin with oils. It’s about DE-STRESSING!

Pratap insisted I go in for the ‘Total Pampering’ package while he settled for the conservative basic massage. I gave in, after much cajoling, as I was assured that the therapy would de-stress the body and increase the sense of well-being.

An hour into my three-hour therapy – and I was disturbed by sounds of confusion in the corridors. A short while later the therapist working on me was called out. She returned with a flustered look and excused herself as she too had to attend to Mr Rana who, I was informed had broken out into an allergy. Startled and helpless I lay motionless and imprisoned in my volcanic mud wrap for the next ten minutes, sick with worry while the crescendo of confusion outside continued to rise.

The therapist returned again to inform me that a doctor had been called and an anti allergy tablet had been arranged for. In the meanwhile another oil was being applied to soothe Mr Rana’s inflamed skin. Totally stressed by now – I asked her to rush and cut short my treatment as I needed to get first hand information on what was happening.

I ran out tense and nervous – to find Pratap, the focus of all attention, being wrapped up in towels by a young therapist, while yet another, applied rose water to his legs. Apparently after his first massage (he landed up with two finally) – he was given a glass of warm water with ginger and honey. The term ‘Spa’ is an acronym for the Latin ‘Salude Per Aqua’ which translates into ‘health through water’. But Pratap’s a rarity. Much to his surprise and to the chagrin of others, the magic potion had him erupt into hives, sending the therapists into a tizzy and a state of complete panic. This was much more than they had bargained for!

We finally bid our polite adieus leaving a frazzled team of therapists behind. As for me, well my spa experience was sabotaged! I was left more stressed than I was ever before. And guess who had finally received ‘the total pampering’ package? @#%$*# !